Through the corners, optional sport suspension minimizes body roll and you’re held snuggly put in the 8-way manually adjustable sport-seats. Be warned, other contents may be shaken and stirred. The firm suspension explains the death-grip cup holders; once your bevy is in place prying it free inevitably launches the contents.

Should the Cooper S itself begin to slip (and for the record that takes some serious provocation) the Dynamic Stability Control (DSC) swings into action – complete with blaring panic light. If your middle name is “danger” or “fun” this can be disengaged.

It’s an “optional extra" that Sir Alex Issigonis, designer of the original Fifties’ Mini and hardcore minimalist, wouldn’t have approved of. He never listened to the radio, so never included space for one in his design. Today’s car is anything but Spartan. The stereo manual unfolds like a stylish blueprint to a villain’s hideout… across seven pages. There are toggles and knobs for everything, even cycling the interior mood lighting from blue through red. If any of it felt like it would outlive the short 4-year/50,000 mile warranty, Q would be jealous.

The looks? Bomb disarmingly cute, I defy you not to meet someone while driving this natural conversation opener.

Cruising? Here’s a hint, travel alone. The Cooper S is a two-seater, spacious up front even for a pair of bears, with a backseat only suitable for toddlers or double-amputees. Embrace this and you’ve “family of two” practicality. Backseats folded flat, the MINI-scule 65. cubic-ft hatch swells to accommodate 100lbs of fluff-and-fold-bound dirty laundry.

Indeed this ode to four-wheeled vice makes such chores fun. Roundabouts become dizzying circuits, parking spots a U-turn excuse, and errands throttle tromping rollicks through SUV pylons.

There are a few quirks. The pie-plate sized speedo mounted in the dash’s center is two feet off the driver’s line of sight, which quickly moves it from cool to irritating. Especially distracting is the bright petal-shaped fuel gauge persistently catching your eye - at 364 miles into the tank it flipped from alarmist orange to panic inducing red. Drama Queen – though a frugal one, your next date should sip so lightly.

Over a day largely comprised of “performance” driving the MINI imbibed a 28mpg. Relaxed highway driving sees that improve to 31.5mpg, if you can manage to contain yourself…

Rounding a corner on our test loop, an oncoming car flicks his high beams. I’d acknowledge by doing likewise, but the bi-Xenon headlights could bring down Icarus. Touching the “launch your carjacker through the windshield” acute brakes, and downshifting through the smooth six-speed manual transmission, I try to scrub off speed subtly. It occurs to me that the twin cruiser roadblock ahead may be for the Cooper S.

Youthfully handsome, but more mature under the skin, the new 2007 MINI Cooper S has made a perfect double agent, corrupting me with easy cornering virtue and giggle inducing acceleration. That’s ok; villains it seems have more fun.

Base: $21,850.00

As tested: 31,275.00

Neil Johnston is an automotive and motorcycle journalist operating http://outdrive.ca and http://onewheeldrive.net

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