Nothing is sadder than a lesbian wallowing over her puppy dog, we all knew that and now, Ellen has bravely allowed that to be shown on national television making it known to the rest of America… We’re here, we’re queer and boy do we love our lap dogs.

All right, I am going to say what everyone else has been thinking – Iggy is one ugly dog. No wonder she handed the mutt over to her hairstylist. But whatever the case, Ellen was heartbroken, when the ugly, little thing was taken away, causing her to wail uncontrollably on her television show. Her whimpering was heard around the world – will this seriously be a proud moment in gay history? Well, yes, and here’s why.

Even more startling than her break up with Anne Hache, more surprising than Anne Hache’s switch to heterosexuality, and bigger than Portia de Rossi shacking up with DeGeneres; a little mutt named Iggy finally got the attention of the American people. Now, the American public can truly see how important K-9’s are to the gay and lesbian community. Thank you, Ellen, now, my mom finally understands why I refuse to give my wiener dog the cheap brand of dog food.

I never really saw myself as a dog person, per say. It’s not that I hated dogs. I mean I never kicked one, which didn’t deserve a good kicking after chasing me home from the library when I was a kid, but I always believed everyone had the right to own one. I just never needed one, that is, until Stella came into my life.