|
So, you’re looking to make some new friends. Perhaps you moved to a new city, or you just realize your old friends suck. Hey, it took me a while to realize that, but we all come to this conclusion eventually. Regardless, you’re wanting to meet some new people. This can be a tricky little situation. You might be thinking, “Where do I begin?’ or ‘How will I know it’s a friend when I meet them?” or “Where do I go about meeting these people?” Here’s my How-to guide for making yourself a few good friends.
Where do you start your search? The easiest place, as far as convenience, would be online. You can find a plethora of resources by doing a search for online social networking. Places like Myspace or Craigslist are perfect examples of where you can either sort through people or post a random ad about what you want. After that, they’ll come to you! But what if you want to find someone in person – to meet someone face to face, and then go from there? My best advice is to think of places that you might hang out or want to spend time. If you like to read, check out a library or bookstore. You might find a friend when you are both checking out the “Local History” book section. If you enjoy relaxing and being low-key, try a local coffee shop. Your new friend could be the person sitting at the table next to you sipping their no-foam decaf vanilla soy latte. And if you’re into helping your community, try looking for some great volunteer opportunities in your area. If you find a cause that you’re into, you can find people that share your passion. Regardless of where you go, if you follow this rule, you’ll be able to find someone that shares a similar interest with you, and you’re one step ahead! If you want a face-to-face meeting, but don’t know where to go, try searching the internet for local discussion groups that talk about things that might matter to you. It could be people that are activists for a specific cause, a book club, a diner’s club, or whatever else floats your boat. You might be thinking, “This sounds a bit like meeting someone for a date.” You know what? You’re absolutely right. I jokingly tell my friends, “Meeting a friend is easy – just find someone that is interesting and that you get along with, but that you wouldn’t have sex with or want to date.” BAM! In a sense, it’s true … though a little more in-depth than that. Ok, so you’ve made this new friend, right? What now? What do you say? What do you do? So many questions and not enough time ... AH! Calm down, it’s ok. First, just let it flow. When I’m meeting someone, I pretend as if I’ve known them forever. You make small talk. Things like “How has your day been?”, “What have you been up to?”, “What are you doing this weekend?”, etc. Yes, you’ll eventually need to ask questions like “What do you do for a living?” or “What else interests you besides [what you’re currently doing at that time]?” Just like dating, be sure to make the conversation roll back and forth. Be an active listener, but also an active talker. What happens next? Well, that depends on you and the person(s). If you both felt you enjoyed hanging out together, make a plan to meet up another time. If you felt that it didn’t work, simply say, “Thanks for meeting. Hope that you have a nice afternoon.” It’s just that simple. Okay, so here’s where everyone gets all skeptical and says, “This is not the best way to make friends! What are you talking about?!” To begin with, I met one of my very dear friends Kathryn from online. She was moving to San Francisco and posted an ad for friends two months before. I replied and we started talking, and we realized that we were both complete dorks. When she moved here, we met and hung out, and we’ve been friends ever since. Two years of a great friendship, all from the internet. As for meeting people through a special interest item – I’ve made a ton of great friends from my volunteer work that I signed up for when I moved here. Not only do I keep those great friends, but I meet more all the time! Whatever method might work for you, just remember that you should pick the method you are most comfortable with, and that suits your personality. And if none of these work, then I suppose I’ll be your friend … though I’ll warn you now that I can be a full-time job sometimes.
|
