Ok…let’s discuss the hardest part of the date—paying. This is the worst part, only because there are no “real rules” on this matter. Typically, they say that men pay. How’s that work for two gay men? And are lesbians not allowed to date? Or do they have to dine-and-ditch? I believe that the person who asks to go on the date is the one who should pay. BUT! That doesn’t mean you should expect it to be paid for. General rule of thumb is you should always expect to pay, but if the other person insists on paying, you graciously thank them. Most importantly, please don’t argue about paying for the date while you are in a restaurant. Not only is that awkward and annoying for the people around you who have to hear, “Let me get it,” “No, let me!” “I insist!” but it’s also a pain in the ass for the wait-staff who just want you to pay your damn bill and get out of their section so they can put more paying people there!

At the end of the date, don’t expect anything other than a thank you. Some think that a physical something (kiss, sex, etc.) has to happen. Not true! Some people like to wait, so don’t assume or try to pressure someone into that. Be sure to be honest about wanting to see them again, either telling them there or the spot or waiting. If you want to see them, tell them. If you don’t, tell them. Also, don’t wait for them to make the move and say, “Let’s do this again,” or not. Just be upfront and direct about it - honesty is the only way to go. I will usually let them know within 24 hours if I want to get together or not.

Hopefully this will help you go from dating reject to dating king (or queen, if that better identifies you.) And I expect to get an invite to the wedding. I’ll be the one in the front row crying for joy and taking thousands of pictures with my trusty disposable camera!

Check out Nic’s blog at http://blogs.californiamen.net/do_not_ask_questions/

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