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The Problem Of Masculine Girls |
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Written by Jean Roberta
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Page 2 of 2
The source of this problem was described as an excess of testosterone and/or insufficient estrogen. The physical signs were clear: small breasts, body hair and bad (acne-prone) skin. The emotional signs were also clear: stubbornness, a rational (rather than emotional) approach to life, which was nonetheless irrational because girls weren't supposed to function this way. Worst of all, “masculine girls” were said to show a pathological reluctance to nurture, please and follow the lead of Significant Others.
I was guilty of all the above, PLUS guilty of being able to understand the gist of the argument as well as the author's assumption that a normal girl could not possibly understand it. The very fact that I had picked up the magazine in the first place was a danger sign, and my ability to understand an analysis of my own flawed, abnormal psyche proved that I had all the symptoms.
The author lamented that the prognosis for most “masculine girls” was not good. Most, he explained, would never become normal.
For about three days afterward, I felt feverish. I sweated. My head hurt. My stomach roiled. I desperately hoped that my parents wouldn't recognize the psychiatric case right under their noses. I wondered who, if anyone, could ever accept me. I realized that I just had to keep my mouth shut and avoid drawing too much attention to myself, at home OR at school, or I would probably be sent to a medical facility for "treatment." The delicious art of masturbation had to be practiced late at night, under layers of bedding and in total silence. The possible consequences of discovery didn't bear thinking about. Copyright by Jean Roberta, 2007. Not to be reproduced without author’s permission.
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