"Pete, please explain to me why I am having this queer gathering for Ted and Mel."

"Hello--collectively both girls have worked for you twenty-years, Char."

"Mel and Ted are girls?"

"Yes, Charlotte, Mel, and Ted are girls."

"All these years I thought they were masculine gay men."

"They are lesbians, Char, you know that."

"That would explain the Ellen vests, the pile of Jane Rule books in her office, and Lword episodes' TiVoed."

"Girl, your observational skills are on point," said Pete sarcastically.

"Thanks Swishy, but how did I get stuck organizing the cookout and was not invited to the fabulous lez wedding?"

"You lied and said you had a scheduled breast augmentation the day of the wedding."

"Remind me to buy a pushup bra."

"Sure thing, right after I tell Minnie's children they are not adopted."

"I heard my name, whose talking about me," Minnie said as she and Delicious entered the patio.

"I believe it was a frantic call from Jenny Craig," Char said.

"Hmmhmm—cute, but when are we eating."

"I am almost finished grilling the fish," said Pete to Minnie.

"What kind of fish are we having?"

"Porgy and Bass," said Pete to Minnie.

"Isn't that a Musical?"

"No, Minnie, that would be Porgy and Bess, a novel originally made into a beautiful opera and later made into a movie in 1959," Char said.

"Wow Char, you know a great deal about things people could not care less about." Minnie said.

"Speaking of fish," Delicious said, "where is the soon to be married couple."

"Forgive my ignorance," Char said lightly pushing D to the side, "but why do gay people want to marry?"

"It is the entire LGBT community, Minnie said."

"Ok," Char said, "why do dikes, fags, down lows and boys in dresses want to marry?"

"Oh child, I do not know," Delicious said. "It is a mystery to me."

"Queers should have the opportunity to be as miserable as straight married couples," Minnie said.

"When I was young boy," said Pete, "I planned my third wedding complete with a twice-divorced NBA player with three children, a mansion I got in my second divorce settlement, and the June cover of O magazine."

"Cute story," Minnie said, "but where are Porgy and Bess?"

"If you are referring to the guests of honor, Mel and Ted, they will be here soon."

"Char, I was talking about the fish, I'm hungry bitch."

"I fail to understand why same gender couples feel the need to be like straight people, marriage is designed for one man and one woman." Delicious said.

"I fail to understand late lesbians," Minnie said.