"I served my time; I attended parochial grade school, and did a two-year stint at a Jesuit college," said Pete, "and I came to the conclusions that there is no God and commercial religion is the root of all evil."

"So, Char," Minnie asked, "what do you mean you're more spiritual?"

"I don't know! I've heard people use it as an excuse when they do not go to church regularly, so I check that box. I still want to get into heaven."

"Do you ever feel guilty for believing in Christ but not attending church?" Delicious said as he gave the stink eye to the people at the adjacent table for eavesdropping.

"Miss D, I feel guilty when I pay retail for Marc Jacobs."

"For me," said Pete, "I have always hated the--I'm right and you're wrong views of religions."

"There are things you have to look past to be a good Christian," Delicious said.

"So D," Minnie interjected, "don't you feel guilty sitting in a pew every Sunday, while a minister condemns gay people to hell from the bull pit?"

"Its pulpit," Delicious said, "and most of them are gay but closeted; they need to keep their jobs."

"It’s the hypocrisy I hate," Minnie said.

"How do you know that?"

"I know how church-folk can be," Minnie said to Pete.

"I meant how do you know that word?"

"The same way I knew you were a pillow biter."

"So, what you're saying D," Char examined, "you endorse those who wish to deny gay people the same rights all Americans enjoy, when they are in fact gay themselves."

"All this religious stuff bores me," Minnie said.

"Yeah none of this is going to get me out of church duty," Char sighed.

"Honey, just decline to be Godmother," Delicious said.

"Did we forget the woman of the hour," Minnie said, "Swishy Pete's it's your birthday"

"Happy birthday Swishy Pete," everyone said in unison.

"Well," Char said, "let's get the hell out of Appleseed's."

"It's Applebee's, bitch," Delicious said under his breath.

http://thechroniclesofswishypete.blogspot.com/

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